Where did I say “abandon compassion”?
To not save a bigot from imminent death is the greatest form of compassion one can express, since bigots are anti-life.
I already acknowledged that there are two arguments, one that says it is a compassionate act to save another person’s life, and another that says it is even more compassionate to let a bigot die. But, if a human saves another human’s life, I’m not going to judge that decision, and I’m not going to attribute it to a false sense of morality. Empathy is in our nature as humans, having existed within us since before ideas of morality and the rules of our civilization (and likely even in our progenitor species), and if someone sees another person choking to death and elects to save them, so be it.
I advocate for victims to practice the highest form of self-compassion, something sadists, masochists, fools, and people who are pretending to ascribe to some higher morality to hide their complicity would never understand.
There’s also a psychological aspect of this that you are woefully underestimating, given how Whiteness/cisgenderness/heterosexuality also have psychological benefits.
Oh, I agree there is a psychological aspect and, as I said, if you see a bigot choking on his crackers and let him die, you will have to live with the psychological ramifications either way. On the one hand, you can hold your head high knowing that you did not cave to false moralities, that you are liberated in your decision to act in a way that you believe is truly for the greater good. On the other hand, if you are haunted by your decision to watch another human die in front of you and do nothing about it, it is going to be your trauma to bear. You won’t have any idea what that’s like until you do it.
Calling an oppressed person a fool or masochist for not wanting to add that burden to whatever else is already piled up in his or her life is a form of victim blaming, because a majority of humans are creatures of compassion and empathy by our very nature. It’s not that person’s fault the system is the way it is, and chastising him or her for not wanting to take on more psychological burdens seems counterproductive.
I’m all for you not wanting to save a bigot, and I don’t judge you for it. I think that’s a valid position, and I get your reasoning. I even get your reasoning for advocating for others not to do the same. But, when you cross the line from advocacy into judgment and derision, it slips into ableism, coming across as, “I won’t have any problems with my decision, so you should do the same even if you get PTSD, otherwise you are a fool and a masochist.”